Stay

Keep it all; the spring and the fall, the golden days. The comfort and the pain, the laughter through the storms. The blooming flowers and the fullfilling meals, the happy dances and the high heels. The colours of beauty and the melodies of joy. The support and the secrets. The mischeif and the youth. The chases and the games, the faces and the names, the love and the betrayal, the unchained glory. Your heart clenching story. Threads coming undone and fading whispers of breaths. Keep it all and stay..

Drawing Smiles

In this past week I’ve encountered many situations that made me realise that I have been holding back on life, that the person I was as a child still exists within me but I never let her out because of the fear that grows with me everyday. I found this song and fell in love, found it fitting with my reflective week.

Sides

With small cautious steps, she walked in. Pushing her blonde hair back with her sunglasses, she felt the light hit her eyes and it slowly entered her being, she was almost surprised that the sun could shine in such a place. Within a few minutes she reached her destination, her eyes began to cloud up but she scolded herself, she’d made a promise and she was going to keep it.

She opened a small piece of paper and began reading,
It’s been two months and a week, I know this because I’ve been counting. I came because I had to come and I’m saying this because I know you want me to, which in my opinion is quite selfish of you knowing this is inflicting me direct pain. But such were your selfish ways, your narrow vision, it was always about you. Did you ever ask me how I felt about this? Did it ever cross your mind that your actions scarred me in ways I never knew possible. But now we’re here on different sides and you’re the winner, you got what you wanted; nothing new there. And I’m left here alone to face the aftermath of your decisions. I hope you’re happy now, watching over me. Can you see that it hurts me to wake up every morning, that I can’t seem to carry on with my life without you. I’m not going to apologise for my anger or for my harsh words, because I have no other way of speaking to you without breaking down. Trying to hate you, indulging myself in anger keeps me alive. I miss you and I hate you.”
Slowly she bent down to her sister’s grave and whispered “The moment you stopped your heart was the moment you stopped mine with it.”

Steam

Delayed prayers and heart-felt wishes, incomplete songs and ungraceful dances. Stolen youth and abduction of innocence, grabbed from within. A foot kicking forward and the other struggling to keep up, a hand holding on and the other letting go . A hopeless soul left with no cause; scrapped off layers of an identity. I’ve lost my reason, I’ve lost my senses. The bank of excuses has run out and all that mattered doesn’t anymore. A mere projection of all the wrong decisions; it’s temperamental, almost sentimental. Give me a reason; something to live for or forgive me and let me go.